B is for...Blues

Blues of the post wedding variety to be exact.

As I'm sure I've made pretty clear, I got married to my lovely husband J about two months ago. Right now, I'm actually feeling a bit miffed about it all.

Not that I'm not very happily married. Quite the opposite in fact. To be accurate, if I were to describe to state of wedded bliss I walk around in you would probably punch me in the face.

The married part is not the problem. The real issue here was the wedding. At the wedding I distinctly remember having a jolly good time and really enjoying getting to see all my friends and family all at once. It was, on the whole, an absolutely fantastic day.

I loved my Mum's speech and the fact that she said how proud of me she is. I loved that our best man was so plastered that every thought his speech might involve the word fuck and hiccup- but that he actually pulled it off. I loved that J was so flummoxed by the unexpected quality of the best man's speech that, instead of a series of amusing put downs, he gave a raw, teary, emotional account of our relationship- completely off the cuff.  My uttermost favourite wedding memory was singing Coldplay's paradise in a okey cokey style circle with our mates at the end- with every one realising that this in fact was the world's longest song and getting quite annoyed.

My blues comes from the fact that I think I maybe wasted the opportunity a bit. I could have selected a better reading. I could have hired some quirky props, which would have made everyone remember the day forever. I could have gotten my hair professional done so that it didn't fall out the back. I should have posed nicely for the photos, maybe taken some modelling tips from Tyra before the day, so that I don't have bingo wings and double chin in all them.

You're supposed to look back on your wedding pics and think you'll never look that good again. I look at mine and I'm inspired to start weight watchers after the baby's born.

My wedding dress is still hanging up at my Mum's- and every time I see it I wonder why I didn't feel as beautiful in it as I expected. It's a very beautiful dress and feel like I let down a bit.

I should probably stop bitching- maybe it's the hormones- I did have an excellent day, so why don't I remember it like a fairy tale. I should have felt like a princess but I don't think I looked like one. I wonder how many brides feel like that?