B is for...Bump

B is also for belly. So at 9 weeks I have a bump. My very useful What to Expect Iphone app tells me that 'no one could possible tell'. This is an absolute load of rubbish.

My bump is so prominent that we've given it a name. It's named after the fantastic actor Jeff Goldblum - one day, when I can be bothered, I'll explain why. Suffice to say that if something as acquired itself a name it must be fairly prominent.

Jeff, as we call him for short, has his own personality. He likes to be rubbed and enjoys being fed vegetable sushi- through my mouth, not my protruding belly button. We have long chats and I get annoyed with him if he makes me sick.

I think I'm going mad.

My belly at weeks is so massive that I'm wearing maternity jeans and floaty tops, which, of course, means that I'll need a whole maternity wardrobe for both winter and summer that will cost me a fortune.

Thanks Jeff.