Ella's Kitchen Cookbook

Have I told you that I have a new kitchen? If I haven't, I'm sure not why I've told everyone else; including people in shops and weirdos on the bus. (Wait, maybe that makes me the weirdo on the bus!) 

Anywho, in my new kitchen I've been doing a lot of cooking- and as I've been home a lot more recently (more on that to follow)- the three of us have been eating dinner together. 

As a result, I've purchased the Ella's Kitchen cookbook and may I just say, it's bloody brilliant. 

For a start it's covered in the excellent branding that you see on the Ella's pouches (that make you wonder why you can't eat them yourself!) and it's so inviting that you actually want to cook dinner. 

The recipes themselves are designed so that older kids can get involved with the cooking, so they're easy-peasy to make and, as if to reflect the attention span of knackered mothers and children alike, they mostly take under 30 minutes. 

That's actual 30 minutes, not Jamie Oliver's 30 minutes which starts after you've chopped 50 different ingredients up. 

So far I've made the curry, the four bean feast, the lamb cous cous, the courgette frittata and a few more. 

All of been well received by B and J (who is fussier than B) and I've lost half a stone from all the cooking-from-scratch. 

For the sake of good measure there are a couple of negatives about the recipes: Sometimes it's not clear what equipment you'll need from the start, so if you get halfway through and then realised you need something you don't have, you're stuffed. 

Also, J did comment that the curry was a bit bland, so I'd recommend keeping some chilli flakes in a pepper shaker so grown-ups can add their own spice. 

Things you have taught me...

B, you're 15 months old and I already feel like you're growing up too quickly. You're a proper little person now. You know what you want and sometimes get frustrated that you can't say the words or aren't big enough to get it yourself. You have an amazing sense of humour and are always playing tricks on Daddy and me.

Even though I can see how much you've grown in such a short space of time, I'm sure I've grown up just as much over the past year or so. You've taught me so many lessons, here are just a few of them, that I hope to be able to teach you in return.

Guilt is a silly feeling and shouldn't be tolerated.

There are quite a few things that I have to do to make sure you're clean, or that you have enough sleep that you absolutely hate me doing. I have to do them because those things (particularly the sleep one) are so much more important than what you think of me at that particular time. I feel so guilty while I'm doing them but then they work and you wake up all smiles and I know it was worth it.

Other people's opinions do NOT count

Advice is always welcome but really, truly it's what you know yourself that matters.

FOMO doesn't work here anymore

Fear of missing out strikes most days when you're a Mum but there's nothing you can do about it. Whether we've missed out on baby music because you've decided to nap, or I've missed out on a night out because we couldn't get a baby sitter. When I look what I get to do, with you, instead I know which I'd prefer.

Falling apart is not an option

When you have no responsibilities it's easy to wallow in self-pity and both Daddy and I have had plenty of excuses for a meltdown over the past couple of years, but now you're here, you need two parents who can sing 'I went to the animal fair' without blubbing or punching the wall.

Wine is evil

I will always enjoy a glass of wine or two- but I really need to learn that two is my limit. Now that I get three-glass-hangovers I can't possibly get up at 6.30 and watch Cbeebies after polishing off a bottle.

My First Crayola

I love the idea of doing thing like art and messy play with B but I don't much like the mess. As we're in the middle of a house move/ refurbishment there is absolutely no where to get down and dirty (or painty) so I've been looking for a creative play solution that takes place, ideally, somewhere other than my house.

I considered it somewhat of a miracle when I discovered My First Crayola. While other, more trendy, brands don't think that materials such as felt pens are appropriate until at least two years, the creative stalwart from my own childhood say 'Go ahead, give these to your one year old. It's cool. They wash off." 

...and they're not wrong either. We now take these lovely pens to cafes, where B proceeds to colour in his own face, while I try to clean said face with a (fairly vigorous) wet-wipe-wiping. You wouldn't think that cleaning with a wet wipe alone would be sufficient for felt pens, but for these beauties, it is. 

B also likes to colour in his tongue but, as the products are non toxic ( and because, unlike paint, he can't swallow very much) I'm fairly relaxed about them going in his mouth too.  The pens have been used as drum sticks and B's favourite thing to do is practise putting the caps but on but he does occasionally draw lines on the ( expensive Melissa and Doug)  notepad I bought, and when he does the look on his face is magical. 

B is for....Blinking Awful Weather

Given that the whole country has been battered by sideways rain and gale force winds, I thought I'd do a roundup of places to take a toddler in B&H when you don't want to be outside. I'd also like it noted that, being from Wales, I don't think it actually rains very much on the sunny South Coast so when I can't just go to the park, I'm genuinely shocked. Here's my top five (they are actually all in Hove.)

Sussex Central YMCA, Marmion Road

This great little centre has tons of activities for all ages but B and I are particularly fond of Toddler Gym. This runs on Mon, Weds and Friday and is really well stock with ride-on toys, a bouncy castle, a ball pit, balance beams, squishy mats and a slide. It's only £3 a pop and the YMCA lay on free tea and coffee for the mums (and dads).

http://www.sussexcentralymca.org.uk/ 


Hove Museum, New Church Road

The 'Wizards Attic' in hove museum is a bit of a hidden gem. Each time we've been we've had the whole place to ourselves. The 'attic' consists of toy exhibition, styled to look like an elderly Wizard's workshop. There are cabinets of retro toys, a bedroom with is half modern and half Victorian, drawers of broken toys that little hands can pull out and explore and (pretend) mouse holes dotted along the skirting board. B loves cruising around and exploring the nooks and crannies.

http://www.brighton-hove-rpml.org.uk/Museums/hovemuseum/Pages/home.aspx



Westow's, School Road

This one is a bit of a Mecca for Hove mummies. This soft play area and astro football is free for non-walkers, so expect to see flocks turn up when it's a bit wet out. The under 3s area is small, but large enough to keep crawling and newly walking babies occupied for an afternoon. There's a ramp/ladder to master climbing and if they're feeling brave, a full size slide to attempt. (B did both of these this afternoon, I've never seen him look so chuffed.)

http://www.westows.com/ 



Cafe Intenso, Portland Road

This is a little known Italian coffee house right across the way from Westow's (for when you turn up there and realise it's half-term then immediately leave- that will happen). Around the back of the main seating area they have a lovely, self-contained section which is full of toys ( including one those bigwooden things with knobs on). You may even get to drink you're coffee in piece.




The Book Nook

Despite it's minuscule size, the Book Nook's coffee shop had to make our list. There's been many a day where we've needed to get out. the weather's not been great and I've felt the need for a cheap cuppa. This cafe boasts a little pirate ship full a books, with a real life steering wheel that can occupy B for hours- and with £1.70 for an Americano you can't go wrong.


http://www.booknookuk.com/ 

Off to Nursery

I don't really want to write my 'back to work' post until I've written the version for the company's blog first but I've no qualms about writing about sending B off to nursery.

Of course my reasons for sending him to nursery are my reasons for going back to work so I'm not going to talk about the endless debate about whether or not mothers should let somebody else look after their kids (yet) instead I'm going to talk about who else that other person should be.

About 6 months ago I read Steve Biddulph's raising boys. While the book had some great thoughts, it had terrible grammar and also out the fear of God into my about nurseries. The book says that institutionalised childcare (basically) screws up little boys. They should be looked after by a close relative if Mum is unavailable. However gone are the days where Granny, Grampy and Aunty Phyllis live just around the corner, modern parents have to rely on other means of finding childcare.

B goes to nursery two days a week and he absolutely loves it. The nursery is brand new and is set in a lovely recently converted mansion-style house. There a tons of toys, they do messy activities that we can't really do on our rented carpet, he mixes with loads of kids, has so much space to practice his cruising and gets fed amazing home cooked meals. Before he started going he was strictly a commando crawler but after going to nursery just three times he was up on his knees.

When I look after him, he sometimes has to sit in his cot while I sort out washing or have a wee. He has to go to the shops and it takes us half an hour to outside because we live in a flat with no garden.

B often comes home with drawing, photos and things he's made at nursery. The nursery staff write up a report about what B has been doing and there's a webcam so I can bunk off at work and watch him instead I can occasional keep an eye and check he's ok.

A colleague who's daughter goes to a different nursery run by the same company, says that she thinks of the girls who work there as members of the family. Each child has their own key person who feeds, changes and challenges them developmentally with other staff members on hand for emergencies.

The level of care B receives is outstanding and since he joined I've seen his development accelerate, he now a much more confident little boy.

How can that be a bad thing?

Breaking the Rules (or Starting Solids at Four Months)

Sorry, I know I've been away for a while but I've been keeping a few plates in the air. Since we last spoke I've been dealing with illness (serious and otherwise, mine and the illness of others), signing up for a marathon (more on that later) teaching B to swim (with the help of Little Dippers), got back on the weight loss wagon. The most important development is that B has started solids.

Once again I'm ignoring the advice of the good people at the NHS, I know they mean well but most of them have never met B or I so I think my judgment about what my child needs is better.  They say not to wean until six months but as the Ella's Kitchen pouches advise 'every baby is different.'

The NHS lists a number of signs to look out for which indicate that a baby is ready for food. These include being able to stay in a sitting position (the literature does not say 'being able to sit unaided), showing an interest in food and being able to get food into their own mouth with their fingers. While B can't feed himself (it would be terrible messy and most of it would end up in his eye) he can certainly do these things. I feel the most important indicators are the facts that he is interested in food and he can physically eat. He makes chewing motions with he mouth and can swallow fairly thick purees, baby rice and baby porridge.

Since starting solids his weight gain has improved slightly (he seems better 'covered' as my mum puts it) , he is sleeping better ( or he would be if it weren't for the teething!) and he loves meal times. He is obviously digesting the food- his nappies are evidence of that and he is still taking four milk feeds a day.

I've been reading around the subject- mainly trying to justify my decision to myself- and I came across an article on the US version of Baby Centre. In America they accept that all the signs may not happen before your baby is actually ready for solids and or much more forgiving of individuality- somethings the NHS probably doesn't have the resources to consider.

As for the theory that exposing babies to food too soon could lead to food allergies, I feel that research makes as much sense as not eating peanuts when you're pregnant- proven to be entirely backwards, in fact eating peanuts may help to prevent but allergies. In the US this study has already been discredited so it may only a be matter of time before that happens here.

B is loving his solid food, he loves ellas kitchen pouches, particularly the green ones and he loves a bit of mashed banana and sweet potato. He's not keen on carrots or sweetcorn.

I'm sure he'll be eating roast dinners soon.

Mum Stays in the Picture

Last year blogger Allison Tate wrote a piece in the Huffington Post about mothers avoiding the camera in their child's early years because they don't feel confident about their looks post pregnancy.

She was at a party where her young son urged her into a photo booth to have her picture taken with him. Allison didn't feel she was looking her best but jumped into the photo booth because she didn't want to be censored out of her sons photo albums- she wants to look like she was there during his childhood! She'd the one doing all the work- why should remain behind the scenes?

With this in mind I considered the photos I'd taken during B's life so far and the photos on this blog. In our general collection there were few of me and on this blog all the photos were engineered, styled  or instagrammed. Anything I wasn't happy with was deleted and several attempts had to be made for each photo. I'd blamed J's camera work (I maintain that he is not a great photographer of faces!) and played with different angles. I may have looked more like I see myself in the mirror but nothing of who I was shone through.

I have now resolved to keep all the photos even the dodgy ones and actually print some out so the B knows who we were how much we enjoyed his first few months. Even if we do look tired and dishevelled, like in this one:

This came at the same time that my sister-in-law brought out her scrap books. She has one for each year  she and my brother in law have been together and while I know I will never be as dedicated as her (I'm painfully aware of this- I've seen her kitchen) I can take something from her desire to capture precious moments and remember them forever. 

You can read Allion Tate's article here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/allison-tate/mom-pictures-with-kids_b_1926073.html 

My Changing Bag

This post should have been called my refusal to use a changing bag.

I find the whole notion of a bag just for nappies a bit of a swizz. Either they're cheap but look rubbish - like kids swimming bags from 1996 or they're beautiful, too big and super expensive.

I've found a happy (and obvious) solution: a big handbag. I love Ollie & Nic - in my previous life my office was opposite a store and they have some lovely ones at rather reasonable price points. They're sale is great too.

My 'changing ' bag was £140 (at full price) and fits nappies, feeds, wipes, toys, a change of baby outfits and all my its and bobs. It has as many compartments as you'll ever need and is this lovely neutral colour. Voila!

Gurgle...not just nursing & nappies

My sisters-in-law bought me a subscription to Gurgle magazine for my birthday last week and I love it.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting. I hate judgy advice literature - I'm a firm believer in 'mum knows best' and making your own mistakes - but Gurgle isn't like that at all.

I read a lot of magazines and since I got married and then pregnant I've stopped buying some (Company) and look for relevant articles in the others.

Gurgle is great as it contains fashion, beauty, celeb and travel features which are relevant to people with kids. It does also contain parenting features, but they come in colourful non-judgmental spreads which are much more pallet able than when then spout from your old spinster of a health-visitor.

I've even downloaded a parenting book to my kindle as result, which I'm sure I'll report back on soon.

I'm a convert and can't wait for my next issue to arrive.

My Maternity Pay Rant

Maternity pay has had a lot of press recently and most of it has been with regards to cutting back on it.
Everytime anybody at all benefits from our comparatively incredibly generous society there are arguments for and against the issue.

In the case of maternity pay there seems to a increasingly common opinion that women who 'choose' to have children are a burden to society if they take anything out the public tax purse. The word 'choose' is always said with something of sneer, in the same way that people who 'choose' to smoke or who 'choose' to be obese are a drain on the NHS. Such individuals  have such a downer on those with kids that they feel society owes them nothing.

Well how about this, critics? With women who 'choose' to have children- you wouldn't be alive. Yes indeed, your own mother actually gave birth to you and raised you because you used to be a child. She probably claimed child benefit and, depending on your age, working tax credit.

Chances are, that if you're reading this you're mother probably inconvenienced some small business by balancing work with childcare- as in 1975 around half of married mothers with children under 18 also worked and the figure has increased swiftly to 70% from there. You can call this selfish if you like, but if you are in a position of power or a running a small business it's highly likely that this selfishness paid for your university education, or helped you gain the business accumen you value so highly.

I am being slightly flippant, but critics of the system really undervalue the role of mothers in society. Having kids may be becoming more and more of a lifestyle choice- rather than something you just do (which is how our grandmothers saw it) or a duty (which is how our great-grandmothers saw it) but if women didn't have children society wouldn't just grind to a halt- it wouldn't exist at all after a while.

Women who claim maternity leave and pay aren't the ones who have 25 kids, who'll all go on to claim the dole. They are career minded ladies who want to raise valuable members of society. If we were more encouraging when this sort of woman goes off to have kids, we might find ourselves issuing fewer ASBOs in the long run.

Parents who raise their kids properly might need an extra bit of help from society- but a society full of people who's parents were professionals with work ethics has far more long term value than the critics realise.

Getting Out and About

My advice- just do it

I'm definitely not an expert on parenting. Super Nanny's job is more than safe, but I have been doing it for a whole 7 weeks now so I do have a couple of tips, which might be of some use to mums who are even fresher than me.

I was having lunch with a friend who has a baby the same age as B and she mentioned that she was suffering a lack of confidence when it came to leaving the house with her little girl. This is seething that I had heard other new parents struggle with and I think I've gotten over my own fear.

The best thing I did was to just suck it up and get out. We live in a first floor flat and I became adamant that I wouldn't be able to carry my buggy (which disassembles really easily) down stairs on my own. I was terrified B would cry or wee and I wouldn' know what to do. Guess what: I got him downstairs and back up again completely unaided and he did cry and he did wee but, as I'm not an idiot, I managed to find my way to the M&S cafe and change him and feed him just fine.  Now we're old pros at going out and B just loves the M&S cafe.

See?

I feel so much better being able to leave the house whenever I fancy and I probably have a more active social life now than before I had B. 

Hoorah! 

If you're feeling rubbish hanging around the house after the birth of your baby, please ignore the people who say it's your prerogative to sit in a velour onesie and let your little one suckle from dawn to dusk. Buy some new clothes, invest in an easy-on make up kit and go out for lunch, coffee whatever, meet friends go for long walks, talk to people in the street. 

It will make your life better. 

Mummy Chic Pt. 2

Another Mummy wardrobe outfit. The white cardigan may not be the most child friendly item of clothing I own: The trick is to rock the baby poo like you mean it.

B is for... Baby Massage

This might prove to be a bit of a rave review but I'll try my best to keep it balanced.

B and I went to Baby Massage in Brighton last week and we were pleasantly surprised. OK, we absolutely LOVED it.

B normally hates being messed with, nappy changes turn into a bit of a wrestling match (and I usually come off worse). He also, normally, hates being put down for longer than 10 minutes unless he's asleep. However at baby massage he spent 45 minutes on a changing mat being stroked nearly the whole time. The gestures obviously worked as he gurgles and cooed throughout.

For anyone who has no idea what baby massage is all about (as I didn't really) he's a short introduction: It's pretty much what it says on the tin- you massage your baby. It involves baby-friendly massage techniques designed to relax, soothe and encourage good sleeping patterns, improve digestion.

I was hugely sceptical before we went, that a bit of a back rub could sort out common baby afflictions and I have to say that as B isn't a sicky baby and has no trouble going to number twos I haven't noticed much of a change- but he really enjoyed the class.

We went to Lucy's Angels baby massage, which takes place at Yoga Mammas in Brighton. The class is  fun, full of lovely mummies and babies and doesn't take itself too seriously. There's nothing worse than a yoga teacher or massage therapist trying to convert you to Buddhism- that doesn't happen here.

Lucy is great and helps put mum's at ease- she understood that the first few times you go somewhere unfamiliar with your baby you can have awful stressful visions that they won't stop crying and then poo everywhere.  Like all the girls who run classes at Yoga Mammas she made us feel very welcome and you can tell she genuinely loves babies and mummies too.

Find out more here: http://www.lucysangels.co.uk/