We had our 20 week scan, nearly 4 weeks ago now and I'm proud to announce that we're having a baby boy.
I say I'm proud and I actually mean it. I suppose, like every woman, I really wanted a little girl. A little girl would have been great to dress up in pretty dresses and take to ballet lessons...
Wait a second. Am I the kind of woman who would take her daughter to ballet? Probably not. Not unless she really wanted to go after watching Angelina Ballerina for hours on end. My fictional little girl would have ended up learning about feminist theory and idolising Marie Curie instead of Cheryl Cole.
I suppose the main reason I had such a deep seated belief that my baby would be female is that it is part of me- and I'm female- and the thought of having a male part of me is a bit of mind fuck.
But we are having a baby boy and I am incredibly pleased.
As soon as the sonographer told us we were having a boy J's face completely changed. He lit up. He always said he had no preference about the sex of the baby, bu,t when he found out ours was going to be a boy, he suddenly saw the 18 years of his life.
He imagined going to the park for a kick around, coaching a junior football team, having me and the baby go and watch him play football near season and shouting 'come on Daddy!' Talking him to the zoo, taking him to Scouts.
J never gets excited about anything. The weeks before our wedding were passed in total fear and financial panic. The day before we go on holiday is always fraught with angst about where the tickets are and how early we'll have to get the airport. This, however, was one thing he can visualise in his mind. He can imagine our baby's childhood being something similar to his own, which means he has a lot to look forward to.
He's already shopping for Spiderman baby-grows.
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